EnviroNut Humor

Some of the best writing anywhere is to be had is in a Slashdot thread:

Environut: Global warming is going to kill us all. We have to stop the evil oil companies bent of world destruction.

Engineer: Well then, let's invest some money in clean, reliable nuclear power plant design

Environut: Are you kidding. Those things are radioactive and they meltdown all the time. Plus Tom Brokaw says terrorists can blow them up with molotav cocktails and kill us all.

Engineer: I don't think you understand the issue fully, but ok, how about natural gas.

Environut: I heard through from my neighbor's, best friend's, third cousin who is an expert in environmental peace engineering at Evergreen Community College that natural gas tankers can explode with the energy of the atomic bomb dropped on Hiroshima.

Engineer: The stored gas has equivalent chemical energy, yes, but it's release is dependent on the oxygen that can be supplied. The absolute worst case scenario is a really big fire. Still, if you're not comfortable with that, how about hydro power in locations where it's available?

Environut: Disrupts salmon spawning.

Engineer: Wind power?

Environut: Kills birds

Engineer: Geothermal?

Environut: Haven't you seen Core? You'll stop the earth's core from spinning, cause earthquakes, and kill the yellowstone geysers.

Engineer: Umm, how about tidal generators for coastal cities?

Environut: Absolutely not. They destroy the reefs to build them and devastate the shoreline ecostructure by reducing wave action

Engineer: How about investing in Fusion research?

Environut: Doesn't that involve atoms? I don't like atoms and I think they should be banned by international treaty because terrorists can build dirty bombs out of them.

Engineer: I suppose you have something against solar power too?

Environut: Oh no. I love solar power. It will save us from global warming, cure world hunger, end racism, and get Barbara Streisand elected president.

Engineer: Well, it does have its benefits, but it's only practical in a limited part of the world and it's currently nowhere near as cost-effective as other forms of energy production

Environut: I knew it! You're just another puppet for big oil. Why do you hate the baby seals? What did they ever do to you? Murderer!